Published Author & Humanitarian
I’m going to warn you, nothing in this article is blind blowing or life-changing. It’s just a few incremental steps that you can put in place in your life to create vast change and point you in the direction that you want to be in.
Jumping into my story, there was a time in my life I hated mirrors. I hated myself. I felt I was not sexy, nor beautiful. I hid from EVERY mirror including car and building windows; avoiding reflections at all costs. I had also completely forgotten how to smile. I asked myself - when was the last time you Arielle were truly happy? Or when was the last time you truly had a fit of laughter? I couldn’t remember, I had no idea. And the mere thought of this brought tears to my eyes. How did I get here? Who did this to me? Why do I feel so incredibly lonely when I live in a town that has a major traffic problem? You cross the street in Hollywood and you’re nearly bumping into people. How is it possible that there are sooooo many people here, yet I feel so incredibly lonely? One day I had this ah ha moment. I thought to myself, “oh my goodness how many people did I walk by and didn’t even notice if they were having a bad day?" I thought to myself - how many others are also feeling this way right now? This was the light bulb. I decided at that moment to BE the person I was looking for.
I’ve hit a few rock bottoms. 22, single, and home alone with a new-born. At one point homeless and sleeping on trash bags stuffed with the few clothes I owned. Mapping out every food bank in my area to have food to survive the week. The full details of this story are irrelevant to the message I want to leave you with today. The point is I have been there. I have been through hell and am not there anymore. So, I want to use this time to help bring some of you who are going through hard times back to your bliss.
I realized I was here at the ultimate rock bottom – broke, hungry, depressed and incredibly lonely. That this place I was in, just down right sucked and that I wanted to get back to a state of bliss as fast as possible. So I decided I was going to become this person I was looking for. The friend to talk to, the shoulder to lean on, the hand to pull you up. I decided I was going to just test all these theories and sayings, because after all what did I have to lose?! And that if it didn’t work out, at least I tried and I could go back to being miserable. I decided then and there I was going to drench my glass with so much love and positivity that eventually love and positivity HAD to come gushing out. We have all heard the sayings: “smile and the world smiles back at you.” Or “pour out love and the love comes back tenfold”, and on and on. Now sure I had every reason to be mad. Every reason to blame someone else for why I was homeless, depressed and broke… But maybe, I could put that aside for now and just test out these theories. That maybe everything I thought about this life and this universe was wrong. That maybe just maybe I had been the cause or in somewhere contributed to this state of pain and suffering. Were my thoughts, feelings, actions contributing or causing these hardships?
There is a quote – “happiness, peace, fulfillment- the most priceless of human treasures, come to those who do good in the world around them.” To put it simply – I wanted to feel good again and this state I was in, was not a good place. So I said to myself, let’s put this quote to the test; let me set out to do good. And maybe just maybe, there are people here in LA who feel the same. And maybe there are ones who are worse off than me that I can better their day.
Little did I know that I was about to go through the loneliest isolating time of my life. See I had all these habits, routines, friends… that were not contributing to these new values and goals; I was going to need to shed a lot. And what is self-love? I had no clue. This is not something we are taught in school and rarely in the home. I love me, I get pedicures and buy new clothes and get my hair done. I care for me … is this self-love? What does go inward and heal even mean? Go inward where?! Why would I want to go inside of this person that I despise? I hated myself. I was trying to get away from her. What could this possibly mean?! Let alone hating myself, I didn’t even want to SEE myself.
To bring this full circle, you are going to feel exactly what you fill your glass up with. You are feeling sad, down, lonely because you have been pouring sad, down, lonely energy feelings, thoughts, emotions into your glass. If you fill your glass up with happy thoughts and positive emotions, then you will feel that way. People say oh I’ve tried that, I tried meditating, I tried thinking positive. I tried and it doesn’t work. Your glass is still full of the crappy poor me victim story that you haven’t filled it up enough for it to tip over with positive feelings. Most of us give up before we have filled it!! Sure you’re pouring your glass up, but the other crap is still in there. If you’re 30 years old, you’ve had 30 years of this story that you have been telling yourself. Do you think it’s all going to go away in one meditation session?
You think yesterday’s shower applies to your body today? Please tell me when the last time deodorant from two days ago worked for you today? It’s a daily choice; it’s a daily conscious way of thinking deciding to fill your glass back up full with good feeling thoughts. Everything in this universe is in a constant state of change, there literally isn’t a single object that remains in constant state or form, not even a rock. So, if everything is constantly changing and moving and evolving then is it possible that all the small activities, habits, routines, hobbies, jobs, friends and drinks… are contributing to that movement? Everything is pushing you either forwards or backwards; there is no stagnant and there is no middle ground.
Take a self-assessment; act as if a camera was on you 24/7 for one week. Monitor your words, your habits, your activities … if you catch yourself saying something more than three times, make note of it. Is it contributing or preventing you from creating the life you want. Take a look at your life and look at all the habits and routines you have; your TV time, your drinking, the partying, the Instagram scrolling, venting to your girlfriends… All these seem to be isolating irrelevant things, but are they really?
Everything is moving you forwards or backwards; so then if you want change, if you want to feel better, you need to ask yourself what are these things that I’m doing that are either pushing me forwards or backwards? Now the question becomes- Are you truly ready to feel better? Are you ready to let go of those habits that you’ve created? Below are some of the key steps I found that made huge changes in my life. Take baby steps. Incorporate new healthy habits and routines that won’t overwhelm you and cause you to give up before you have truly even started. Just like pedaling the bicycle, you are building the momentum in the direction you want to be in. Like rolling a snowball down a hill gets bigger and bigger, slowly by doing these suggestions, the momentum of this energy will roll in the direction that you are choosing; therefore, causing you to feel better.
Here are my easy to implement suggestions:
- Set alarms on your cellphone that go off through-out the day reminding you to re-center. When the alarms go off, don’t hit ignore. Pause and sink into your heart space.
- Carve out the first 15 minutes and the last 15 minutes of your day solely for you.
- Breathe and most importantly breathe out! I strongly recommend looking up breathwork classes near you.
- Create positive new hobbies. Yoga, meditation class, painting class, sound baths, float tanks, boxing, taekwondo… Anything that requires a centered, positive focus will assist you on your healing journey.
- Give back. Spread love. Do a random act of kindness. Volunteer. There is incredible healing through giving.
We as humans are all seeking a state of bliss, of happiness, and fulfillment. A happy life generally comes from a balanced life: physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Create the person that you would want to befriend; become him/her. This you are absolutely 100% capable of doing.
Sink into your heart space. Everything you are looking for is already within. You are not stuck, nor is there anything wrong with you. You are right on track, exactly where you need to be; growing, moving, evolving, learning, and finetuning the beautiful gem that you are. Let this article return you to you LOVE.
All is well.
The Universe loves and supports you, and everything is conspiring in your favor.